Heartmade Blog

Knock Knock. Voice, Are You There?

 

Calling your voice? Tired of leaving yet A-N-O-T-H-E-R message after the beep?

 

I get it. I get it. Fitting in is exhausting. Plus, it leads to ice cream + one too many sangrias.

 

Now, letting go of who you think you should be to embrace who you are isn’t a Gondola ride either. Voicing a controversial opinion + sharing a new creation + trying something new that you still haven’t mastered is scary pants. The brown bag please.

 

Those Chicken Soup for The Teenage Soul Book’s that told you, “Be you, everyone else is taken”, forgot to add the warning label: Caution: When you go against the grain + put yourself (and your work) out into the world your feelings will get hurt + you may experience shame + fear.

 

True. No point in Splenda coating it. Standing your ground + owning your story is hard but not nearly as difficult as spending your life in hiding.

 

So, if you’re feeling audacious, here’s little dose of Friday Video Time to help knock some eye rolls + “Who does she think she is” whispers off a cliff.

 


 

how about you?

Do you have some voice-finding-anti-people-pleasing pointers of your own? Sweet! Plug them in the comments below. Be my guest… be my guest, put your brilliance to the test.

 

xo,

Mayi Carles

20 Responses to Knock Knock. Voice, Are You There?

  • Rachel Eliston says:

    You make me giggle every friday Mayi! every time!!
    you are right though, me being a total perfectionist is why i am still fffing around with setting up a creative business, it was like i was looking in the mirror when you were reading the books! seriously i have post it notes everywhere trying to get it all perfect before i launch! even my website is set to private cause i am too scared to launch my stupid blog posts!!! ahhhhhhhhh!!!
    anyhoo, your video has made me realise that my mantra i use in life ‘let it go’ needs to be used when it comes to my creative business. it may even help me take a leap of faith…hopefully not off the metaphorical cliff! haha!
    thank you Mayi! you are fabulous…always
    Much Love and Cupcakes, Rachel xxx

  • claire stone says:

    Ahhh, I totally needed this. I’ve just done some really big leaps into really being more of myself, and it’s soooo easy to slip back into being scared, and worried. This video has also made me realise that I spent sooo much of my childhood conforming to other people, and then a big part of my teens doing my hardest to not conform. Makes it all a bit tricky. I think I’m getting there though – thanks to you and the bootcamp peeps!!

  • Verónica says:

    The fear of “not being good enough”… touchée! Thank you for this inspiring food for thought for the weekend!

  • Kim says:

    It’s funny because my voice finding anti people pleasing pointer skills are kicked into high gear on one topic – my writing. I am finding my voice through writing – which I love, but I still have one part of my voice that’s turned off. I have a super hard time with bad words. There I said it. I use bad words, but when I’m writing or posting or speaking in my biz I filter it out because I fear that if my fans see me slip up and a bad word slips out I fear they won’t love me anymore. That’s a really weird one, right?

    • claire stone says:

      not weird Kim. I have a lot of very religious people in my family, and I never swear when I am around them. I really struggle with writing for my blog with whether I should write as I talk (ie with the odd cheeky word in there) which might offend them, or do I keep on writing in a slightly stilted fashion, so as to not shock them! It’s a tricky one!!

    • Mayi Carles says:

      I thought I was the only one!!! When I was little my mom used to tell me she would wash my mouth with Clorox if I said bad words hehehe, so it’s rooted deep down. Now, every time I want to say SHIT (which for some reason I feel like saying A LOT), I think about it a million times over. I hesitate to write it all the time, but I specially hesitate to say it out loud in my videos because I know a lot of readers watch with their kids.

      Ultimately though:
      1. I think it comes down to knowing your ideal customer + being mindful. Remember you picked your ideal customer, if she/he is offended by cursing it was your choice.

      2. Don’t be scared. Naomi Dunford is a great example of someone who has made her entire brand about sass + F-Bombs + people LOVE her. No reason to be ashamed. Let it out girlfriend!

      • Kim says:

        Funny! Mayi – I got the bar of soap in the mouth once or twice. Yuck!

        • Mayi Carles says:

          Hahahahahaha!

          • claire stone says:

            I never got soap in the mouth, but have this big hangup about people being disappointed in me if I am not the good girl they expect me to be. It’s a real hang up I have and it totally wipes out my cheekiness! Will have to try getting used to being more like me! Kim – when will we see the video?

  • Lauren L says:

    Service to others is a great way to forget about my silly little ego (the what-will-other-people-think part of me). Service can be listening fully to someone when they speak and responding from the heart. It can mean I answer the phone when the bill collectors call, because they are only doing their jobs. It can mean having coffee with a friend who needs a hand, putting away the chairs after a meeting, bringing water to the kids’ soccer game, bringing the trash cans that have rolled into the street back onto the curb (especially if they aren’t mine). I forget about me when I do something for someone else, and it feels good to put good energy into the world. Good energy also has a way of coming back and feeding my creative spirit in ways that allow more authentic work to emerge. Most of all, it allows me to feel part of this big messy planet of people, and that gives me the courage to keep being me.

    • Mayi Carles says:

      I love THAT. Focusing on intrinsic rewards + the feeling of belonging + mattering as opposed to on extrinsic rewards – status + money + popularity. I LOVE IT!

  • You had at me at “perfectionism with offers…I’m being an impostor and its just a matter of time till they find out”. I almost fell off my chair laughing!!! That is so how I feel at at moments too! Recently I’ve been getting over it by following my gut, that was a fabulous call out. Great video peque! As always crazy pants intuitive. Muaks!

  • Rachael says:

    Your videos always make me laugh. I always wonder what your prop stash looks like, because you always seem to have new ones each time! :)

    I loved what you said about your gut reaction. I would say that’s my favorite anti-people-pleasing-pointer too. It’s the one thing that has allowed me to leave my corporate job, say “yes!” to myself when I was considering going back to school to become a health coach, starting my own business and now starting ANOTHER new business dedicated to serving health coaches. I have spent far too much time in the comparison/envy mode and realize that when I actually tune in to what my heart says it wants, life gets 1000% better and more fulfilling. What I want may sound crazy to others, but when I listen – it all seems to make sense and come together.

    • Mayi Carles says:

      Hahahahaha stalking my prop treasure chest is my never ending mission in life hahahaa + one of my biggest incentives to go to weddings LOL!

      Glad this ws helpful Rachael.

  • Diana Castro says:

    Love your message. Your delivery, your energy.. :) thanks for the video :)

  • April says:

    Haaaaaaaaaaaa….I’m laughing so hard!

    Adult tutus…check
    Skinny Girl margaritas…check
    Gluten-free cupcakes…check

    This is SUCH a good video, my friend!

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